Work/Life Balance
Are you a self-described workaholic?
Do you demand perfection from yourself or others?
Have you lost your balance between work and your personal life?
If so, you may have developed a work addiction.
Perfectionism and the obsession to achieve can create a sense of havoc that throws life off balance. Fixated on desired outcomes in the quest for power or control at work, one can become enslaved to the notion this will somehow act as a reprieve from the potentially negative self-image held inside. When unrealistic expectations cause us to denigrate our own achievements, we deprive ourselves of the validation for which we are most hungry.
The tendency to overwork and raise the bar ever higher create a form of emotional anorexia in which we starve ourselves of what would ultimately be most nourishing - our own love and approval.
The false belief that your value is based solely on your achievements in life, with an emphasis on doing or performing rather than on being or feeling, often has its origin in childhood. An externally based valuation system can sometimes form in response to unprocessed grief over the loss of a parent or through the trauma of divorce. Children often blame themselves for these early losses, making themselves “bad” in the process. From the child’s perspective, it’s safer to make the self bad than to imagine their parents being at fault.
This sense of inferiority, indebtedness, or being “less than” lies at the core of workaholism. When we attempt to put negative feelings about the self at bay by engaging in an endless cycle of exertion at work, we never fully claim the elusive self-worth this achievement would seem to promise. Quite the contrary, when constantly pursuing increasingly higher standards for ourselves, we become exhausted, at times to the point of mental, emotional and/or physical collapse.
For many, work is the means through which a positive self-image is maintained. Yet, when overwork, or one’s strategy for maintaining emotional equilibrium becomes problematic itself, it may be time for help.
Do you demand perfection from yourself or others?
Have you lost your balance between work and your personal life?
If so, you may have developed a work addiction.
Perfectionism and the obsession to achieve can create a sense of havoc that throws life off balance. Fixated on desired outcomes in the quest for power or control at work, one can become enslaved to the notion this will somehow act as a reprieve from the potentially negative self-image held inside. When unrealistic expectations cause us to denigrate our own achievements, we deprive ourselves of the validation for which we are most hungry.
The tendency to overwork and raise the bar ever higher create a form of emotional anorexia in which we starve ourselves of what would ultimately be most nourishing - our own love and approval.
The false belief that your value is based solely on your achievements in life, with an emphasis on doing or performing rather than on being or feeling, often has its origin in childhood. An externally based valuation system can sometimes form in response to unprocessed grief over the loss of a parent or through the trauma of divorce. Children often blame themselves for these early losses, making themselves “bad” in the process. From the child’s perspective, it’s safer to make the self bad than to imagine their parents being at fault.
This sense of inferiority, indebtedness, or being “less than” lies at the core of workaholism. When we attempt to put negative feelings about the self at bay by engaging in an endless cycle of exertion at work, we never fully claim the elusive self-worth this achievement would seem to promise. Quite the contrary, when constantly pursuing increasingly higher standards for ourselves, we become exhausted, at times to the point of mental, emotional and/or physical collapse.
For many, work is the means through which a positive self-image is maintained. Yet, when overwork, or one’s strategy for maintaining emotional equilibrium becomes problematic itself, it may be time for help.
Learn to set healthy limits and create a work/life balance that works for you. Call me at: (415) 292-5888 or email me to set up a free initial telephone consultation.
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