Strategies For Creating a Work/Life Balance That Works For You

Calling All Perfectionists and Workaholics - Could your work/life balance use some adjustment?

If you’re struggling with work stress, burnout, or anxiety tied to perfectionism, you’re not alone. Work/Life balance is a quality of life issue. The tendency to overwork, often compelled by perfectionistic standards, can create needless suffering and damage your quality of life. Finding balance often begins with understanding how these patterns developed and recognizing the emotional cost of constantly striving.

Perfectionism and the obsessive need to achieve can create a sense of havoc that throws life off balance. Fixated on desired outcomes in the quest for power or control at work, you may become enslaved by the notion this striving will act as a reprieve from the negative self-image held inside.

When unrealistic expectations cause you to denigrate your own achievements, you may end up working harder and harder while depriving yourself of the elusive validation for which you are most hungry. 

The tendency to overwork while raising the bar ever higher can create a form of “emotional anorexia,” in which you inadvertently starve yourself of what would ultimately be most nourishing - your own love and approval. If perfectionism or overwork has left you feeling depleted, therapy for work/life balance can help you explore the underlying pressures and beliefs that keep you in overdrive. Through individual psychotherapy, you can begin creating a healthier relationship with achievement, rest, and self-worth.

Externally based self-evaluation sometimes forms in childhood in response to grief over the loss of a parent, or through the trauma of divorce. Children often blame themselves for these early losses, making themselves “bad” in the process. 

From a child’s perspective, it is safer to view the self as “bad” than to imagine their parents being at fault. The concept of their parents as flawed or to blame is often too terrifying a prospect to seriously consider.

In this way, a sense of inferiority, or being “less than” is often at the core of workaholism. When you attempt to put unconscious, negative feelings about yourself at bay by engaging in endless cycles of exertion at work, you may never fully claim the elusive self-worth this achievement would seem to promise. Quite the contrary, when constantly pursuing increasingly higher standards for yourself, you may become exhausted, to the point of mental, emotional or physical collapse. 

The tendency to overwork while raising the bar ever higher can create a form of “emotional anorexia,” in which you inadvertently starve yourself of what would ultimately be most nourishing - your own love and approval.

For many, work is the means through which a positive self-image is maintained. Yet, when overwork, or the strategy for maintaining positive self-esteem becomes problematic itself, it may be time to intervene. The good news is you can learn to create boundaries which are in support of a healthier work/balance.

The first step is identifying any “pathogenic beliefs,” or beliefs that cause suffering, which you may have internalized in childhood, such as, “I’m not enough.” By challenging negative beliefs you hold about yourself that fuel overwork, you can make room for more kind, self-compassionate beliefs to take their place.

Over time, this process can help you update any negative pictures you hold of yourself that undermine self-esteem. By asserting that your value is an expression of your being, as opposed to your achievements, you can unhook notions of self-worth from your accomplishments in life.

Finding Balance Through Depth Therapy

If you’re struggling with work/life balance, you owe it to yourself to take steps to feel better. If you experience anxiety that shows up as workaholism, perfectionism, or a life that feels off balance, individual psychotherapy can provide meaningful support.

In therapy, you can begin to identify the patterns driving overwork, challenge the beliefs that sustain them, and set healthier boundaries that support rest and well-being. Take the first step toward creating a work/life balance that truly works for you. Learn more about my therapy services by visiting my website, or contact me to request a free phone consultation.