New to Town—Feeling a Bit Lost and Alone?

Navigating Loneliness, Self-Doubt, and Depression After a Big Move

You moved for a reason. Maybe for a job, a relationship, a fresh start, or the promise of a better life. But now that you’re here, everything feels unfamiliar—and instead of feeling hopeful, you feel stuck and pretty much exhausted.

You wake up anxious. Your job drains you and hasn’t yielded all you hoped it would. You haven’t made any real connections, and the thought of putting yourself out there makes your stomach turn. On top of that, there’s a harsh voice in your head telling you you’re doing it all wrong.

If you’re new to town and feeling isolated, depressed, or anxious, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re carrying a heavy emotional load in a moment that already asks so much. When life fails to measure up to the reality you had imagined, it can sure feel like a lot to reconcile.

When the Inner Critic Makes Everything Harder

It’s not just that you don’t know many people yet. It’s the deeper disorientation of starting over while already struggling inside. When depression or anxiety is in the mix, everything takes more effort. Getting out of bed, going to work, answering a text—these can feel like monumental tasks.

Add a job you don’t like, and it makes sense that you're feeling worn down and disconnected. And often, just as you're trying to get through the day, an inner voice shows up—critical, unrelenting, and unduly harsh.

That voice isn't the truth—it’s a defense. Often shaped by early experiences, the inner critic tries to keep us in line by shaming us into action. But instead of helping, it paralyzes. It isolates. And it reinforces the painful idea that you have to earn care or belonging.

Small Steps Toward Authentic Connection

The good news is you don’t need a 10-step social plan or a packed calendar to start feeling better. In fact, the most helpful first steps are often the simplest ones.

You may want to start by giving yourself permission to feel whatever is coming up for you. Frustration, sadness, disappointment, anger, numbness—these are all valid responses to major life transitions. Suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is okay can make things worse. It can lead to burnout, anxiety, or deepening depression.

Instead, try naming your feelings. Even something simple—like “I feel overwhelmed right now”—can begin to spark your curiosity about what you need. From there, it may look like baby steps:

1. Start with presence, not pressure.
Choose one place to return to regularly—a coffee shop, a local park, a walking trail. Just being around other people without needing to talk can soothe your nervous system and remind you that you're not as alone as you feel.

2. Let structure support you.
When you're anxious or down, a steady rhythm helps. A Sunday market visit, a midweek class, or a Friday check-in with yourself—these rituals create a container that holds you when everything feels unmoored.

3. Seek connection without performance.
Volunteer. Join a book group. Try a meetup or community class. Go not to impress or “network,” but simply to be human with other humans. You're allowed to show up as you are.

4. Talk to someone who gets it.
Therapy can offer a space where you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. Whether you’re dealing with job burnout, emotional numbness, or that painful feeling of “I should be doing better,” you deserve a place to unpack it all.

A Soft Place to Land When You're New, Struggling, and Longing for Connection

You may not feel like yourself right now. You may question whether things will ever feel good again. But even if your job feels wrong, your anxiety feels constant, and your inner world feels lonely—this is not the end of the story.

It makes sense to feel a bit untethered in a new city. There’s so much to take in—and no one navigates it all without some inner turbulence.

I’m Sarita Redalia, LMFT, and I work with people who feel stuck, disconnected, or discouraged after life transitions—whether that’s a cross-country move, a new role at work, or a shift in your closest relationships. If you’re navigating depression, burnout, or the quiet pressure to make it all look easy, individual psychotherapy can help you return to relationship with yourself—and with the life you long to live.